Irresponsible Irreverence

Deer. ( April 8th 2025 )

I love living in Wisconsin. I really do. I love living just south of the 29 divide between "up north" and the rest of the state. I love living in a smaller city too -- all the advantages of civilization, but I can get myself either into the woods or into the countryside within five to ten minutes depending on the direction I pick.

But I do hate one thing: the fucking deer.

That's right, this is a blog post where I complain about deer. There is no metaphor here or deeper meaning. Anyone who has talked to me for an extended period of time about the damned animals won't be surprised by anything I say here, and this isn't code for anything else. This is literally just about deer.

I don't think people who live in places without deer understand how fundamentally annoying they are to live around. And, y'know, it's my own fault -- I chose to live where the deer are. It is very much on me that I have this problem. But it's still a problem.

Yesterday morning, on the way home from the grocery store, on the most suburban looking street you've ever seen, I had to slam on brakes because a deer ran out into the street. Off to the side of the road were at least five more, sitting there... waiting. And this was not the first time this has happened. Heck, it's not the first time it's happened in the last few weeks. It's at least the fifth or sixth.

And I know they're more active around dawn and dusk, and that I go to the store right around sunrise right now, but it's still deeply annoying.

When the weather is nice, I like to take walks. Heck, when my knees like me I even go on runs. One day a few years ago, running through the local park, a deer ran out in front of me and I almost barreled right into it. I barely avoided hitting a deer on foot. Deer are incredibly dumb and skittish.

They're like rabbits who can wreck your car.

It's always amusing to me when I talk to people who don't live around deer who always get excited or in awe when they see them up north. I used to feel like that when I was younger and hadn't spent years annoyed with them. Now when I see a deer I just roll my eyes and pray they don't decide to run into me.

There wasn't really a point to this beyond expressing my annoyance with the white tailed wildlife denizens of the local woods. I mostly just wanted to complain about them, so I did. Was it a waste of time? Maybe.

But I do feel better about it now either way.

On April 26th I'm going to be at Concinnity in Milwaukee, WI! Stop on by and say hi if you're in town!

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